The Cost of Following Jesus

It has been a good while since my last blog post and a lot of life has taken place. I have battled with discouragement in ministry almost to the point of despondency but God has remained faithful and strengthened me. In the midst of the many spiritual battles I have fought and challenges I have faced, the Holy Spirit has given me such clarity. Each and everyday I am learning to trust the Lord more. In every trial, the roots of my faith have grown deeper and wider. I am learning more about the faithfulness of God. He truly is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. The greatest struggle I have had is accepting God’s will and purpose for the ministry, to which He has called me and what it actually entails.

I have been stuck in my personal garden of Gethsemane for several years now and God has been patiently waiting for me to completely surrender my will to Him. Let’s take a quick look at the Garden of Gethsemane from a biblical perspective for just a moment. It was in this garden Jesus Christ, the Son of God, struggled with the will of His Father. There He faced the decision to walk away from the cross and abort his mission to redeem the world from the curse of sin and death or to suffer the shame of an agonizing death on the cross; thereby purchasing the salvation of all those that would one day believe in and follow Him. It was a life or death decision. He would have to choose between saving our lives or preserving his own. Jesus did not take this decision lightly. I assure you, He knew exactly what purchasing our salvation would cost. Three times he prayed under so much distress that sweat fell like drops of blood from his face. His prayer was one of asking Father God if there was another way to redeem us that did not include the cup of suffering that was set before Him.

“Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” Matthew 26:38-40 ESV

Somehow Father God let Jesus know the cost of our salvation was set and it could not be changed. Sin required death. He would have to give his life as a ransom for ours if he wanted to redeem us. It cost what it cost. As Jesus counted the cost that night in the garden of Gethsemane, He willingly decided to surrender and submit completely to the will of Father God. As Christ uttered his final words of total surrender “nevertheless, not as I will but as you will,” before he could finish His statement, Judas, His betrayer, came with Roman soldiers and temple guards to arrest Him. The third and final moment He said yes to Father God’s will, was the exact moment His greatest sufferings began! The death that took place in the garden that night was the greatest death Christ faced. The death of self will. His subsequent physical death on the cross was a manifestation of the death that had already taken place in the garden of Gethsemane.

Jesus said, “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it.” Luke 14:26-28 NKJV

I have known the evangelistic and teaching call on my life for over 20 years now and for many of those years I have walked in it. However, for the last few years, it has become more challenging to do so because the spiritual climate in America is rapidly changing. Moral decay is at an all time high and the great apostasy is taking place right before our eyes. The desire for God’s truth is waning. The Apostle Paul forewarned us that times like these would come, however I don’t think I ever expected to see them in my lifetime.

“For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.” 2 Timothy 4:3-4 ESV

I am absolutely shocked by the lack of strong expository bible based preaching in most pulpits in the United States of America today. Although there are still anointed preachers who are biblically sound, they are becoming a lot fewer in number. For this reason, it has become increasingly harder for people to receive truth even when it is being quoted directly from the bible. Many times, in which I have taught on the holiness of God and the Christian lifestyle, I have been falsely accused of being judgmental, Pharisaical, legalistic and have been told I lack wisdom of speech. This is mainly because I strongly preach, yet lovingly, against premeditated willful sin in the life of a born again Christian. I do not teach sinless perfection nor do I teach grace as a license to sin. Nonetheless, there is a growing hostility within the church against bible based Christianity, of the likes I have never seen before.

Personally the spiritual warfare has been rough, to say the least. I have lost friends and some of my family members despise me. Many of which are fellow Christians. I became so discouraged and worried about offending people that I gradually started to give up on ministry. I stopped writing on my blog, posting inspirational YouTube videos and teaching, with an exception of a few speaking engagements and ministering the gospel to my children (which is my most important ministry). I found myself becoming so consumed with the thoughts and opinions of others until I was afraid to talk about the word of God. While in prayer, the Holy Spirit revealed to me why the warfare in my life has been so strong. I was still grappling with the true cost of following Christ. I had become worn down with discouragement because I was counting up the cost and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to pay it. You see, I like being accepted. I like having friends. I like fitting into Christian circles. I like feeling loved by everyone but I realized that obeying Christ would cost my giving up all these things. The struggle was between my will and God’s. I knew if I was going to follow Christ, my desires for all these things would have to die and I would have to endure the pain of that death. I was in my very own garden of Gethsemane.

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” Matthew 16:24-25

Every born again blood washed believer will have a tailor made garden of Gethsemane experience. The gut-wrenching moment of great toil and agony over the decision between God’s will or yours. Make no mistake about it, any man or woman that has ever fulfilled God’s purpose for his or her life and all the saints of old have come to this great garden of decision. They have had to pay the ultimate price of sacrificing their will in exchange for God’s.

That day in prayer, as I began to count up the cost of obeying Christ, I also realized what I would gain, in so doing, is far greater than anything I have lost or will lose. Just as there was an eternal joy of one day marrying His bride (the church) set before Christ in the garden of Gethsemane, that far outweighed the pain and suffering required to purchase her; there is also an eternal joy set before us that far outweighs the trials, tribulations and sufferings of this present world.

“Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2

It is more valuable than anything to be desired on earth. It is the excellency of truly and deeply knowing Christ and being known by Him. It is the joy unspeakable He gives us, that the world does not have. It is the blessed assurance that heaven is our home. It is the peace that surpasses all understanding. It is the reward of one day hearing the Lord say, “Well done good and faithful servant.” Oh how sweet it is to trust in Him and to make Him our delight! I have made up my mind to follow and obey Christ, no matter the cost. I am now free to do and say what He wants me to do and say, without worrying about the outcome.

In the words of an old hymn,

“I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back. No turning back. Though none go with me, still I will follow. Though none go with me, still I will follow. Though none go with me, still I will follow. No turning back. No turning back.”

Are you willing to pay the cost to follow Jesus?